OK, hold on to your chair. Don't quite know how to break this to you, but I'll just tell you outright:
Santa is a woman. A Black woman. Who's on crutches. I saw her yesterday at Valley View Mall ... in line to see the fake Santa, I guess so she could throw off any undue attention.
I'm a little worried by the boot on her left foot. Will she make it Saturday? My nerves are shot just thinking about it.
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